just a little something to make my day a little special

i dont blog that often bout my days. i usually use it to vent on special days or bottled up feelings in my 2 liter bottle. but im bored and stuck at home so lets bang the keyboard

...

but yeah haha. i like marc's hair cut. its not that bad. he looks sooooo cute! like with his long hair he was effin sexy. (dont judge me! even allyson and jessica agree dammit!) but with his hair cut he turned it down a notch and became really cute. and when he smiles hes so adorable! but he cant do his sexy stare any more *pout* thats like the biggest downer, and i cant comb my fingers through his sexy lucious locks! but it still smells good!
so i found out the big oopsie poopsie with marc and frank today. i had to beat the living shit out of them to find out -___- bastards. lets just say theyre on probabtion now.
but anyways, i was supposed to go to the leadership hangout today at greatjump. i was planning on going with lorriane and catch a ride with her but she apparently didnt get home til like 7am this morning from sf beach and was really tired. so she didnt want to go anymore. i knew she was tired so i was just planning on going there and like watch everyone jump b/c I'm sick and we would just talk. so then i didnt have a ride anymore then my tonsils started to act up and hurt. i didnt have anyone to chill with anymore til everyone got out. i was going to be alone for 2 and a half hours =[ but then God bless ging! she decided to ditch chem and stay with me. I LOVE YOU GING! haha we had our special girl talks. we hang out with guys so much that we rarely let our estrogen shine! haha. so it was nice to just talk to a girl. i mean i love my guys but its nice to talk to a girl once in awhile. but we talked bout a lot of things. and it was fun, we ate at burrito express and both got chimichangas. haha we couldnt finish them. ging ate hers really neatly and i ate mines like a slob! haha but yeah. i bought it for her! felt good b/c shes always paying for my food so it was really nice to pay for her for once! haha. its b/c my mom let me borrow her card for the day. the power of plastic XD
but anyways, we headed back to school and i guess i didnt relize how slow we were going b/c it took us almost thirty min to walk to the L building to where marc frank alex and kevin were haha. (the guys always say that they like how its always more guys than girls. theres always like twice as many guys as girls) but yeah. apparently marc and frank couldnt hang out or something so they were anxiously waiting for the bus. they kept missing it for like thirty min b/c we were in front of the band room listening to the drum line practice. (haha kevin kept air humping to the beat YES YES) and ging didnt have a ride so frank took care of her and paid for her bus fee so she can take the bus
im really really happy for ging. to pursuit happiness is our right, so ging, you have every right to be happy =D
then alex walked the three to the bus stop and waited for his ride, leaving kevin and i alone. UH OH SPEGHETTI O'S!!!! haha i was like "wah?!?!? youre leaving me here alone?" to like ging haha. i wasnt thinking. i was kind of nervous at first but i got over it after like a second. we just sat there talking bout random things for awhile. there was never silence, so i was happy. im not good at keeping a convo up -__- especially with guys like kevin. IDK WHY!!!! but i called my ride and sd he was walking me to the front we ended up talking bout our most recent ex's. well i only have one ex -__- and i got to the point where i was like "yeah, me and my ex are like best friends for life" and he was like "i have a best friend for life too" and i was just teasing him and said "its frank right?" i was just kidding though b/c i know theyve known each other since elementary but they cant stand each other... WITH LOVE! HAHA. but he said "no, its you" and i was so happy! i jumped on him and gave him like two big hugs! haha no ones ever told me im their best friend for life! haha i LOVE it.
i have to go now! haha i heard my mom got a ticket today. LOSER! she was talking on the phone while friggin driving. well thats what she gets. imma drive home now.







~much love, jen

creepy but true

my tarot thingy fortune whatever app on my Ipod is soooo accurate all the time that its scary. i checked my love card for the day and it said:

"THE STAR card suggests that you shouldn't be afraid to let a little 'diva-tude' shine through. take an opportunity to embrace some you time. as you contemplate how best to be to yourself, you may find yourself ready to mave past the mere illusion of what was or what could me. the confidence, peace or independence that you exude as a result can brighten romantic prospects or lead to improved intimacy. your moment is upon you, so grab it while you can."

i'll do this my way

i watched fireworks today with kikay, dee, axell, kevin, frank, marc and chester. we were like dedicating each firework to someone different. haha it was fun, and kikay and i kept screaming for all the pretty, exciting ones hahaha i love her. my family loves my friends and im glad that i have such a cool family >_< not like those asian parents that don't want their kids hanging out with the opposite sex "doan do da nah-stay! doan hab sec! yew tew yung!" ^_^
(its amazing how the sight of one person can make you feel like your whole day just went down hill... yes im talking bout you and crap dammit im rooming with you. lets try to coexist, ok? im trying to be the better person but you wont let me! im trying to show you how to grow the fck up. so sit down and pay attention, you might actually learn something)
i had fun but i was actually wished that... uh... hehehe, i actually hoped that chief would sit with me and watch the sky rain colors this fourth of July. :[ but he sat with his family. i understand. ill will be pissed is he cant go.
im deciding that im giving frank a chance. so he better not mess up. >:[
like you know that guy from before? uh, HIM (idk what i called him) the one that's giving me TLC. i just... idk but im losing feelings for him... FAST. i used to me so excited that he'd call me like every night and like hed wait for me to go on AIM so we can talk. but we NEVER have interesting convos -_- they are really... DULL. and its such a disappointment. i really wanted this to work. but his convos with me aren't interesting and deep like the ones i have with bunz and they aren't funny and lighthearted like the ones i have with chief. and he DOESN'T get me. he doesn't understand me. and hes mature in some fields, but like not in the ones that shine through all situations. like he could be selfish at times and not notice it. this sucks. i really miss chief...
i saw chief today and we layed in the grass next to Jonathan pham's boom box (i got a musical education/ update today >_<) haha. but what makes me sad is that when it comes to chilling with me and the guys he doesn't put effort into hanging out with us. but if its with his other friends or erin than he'll be there for them in a heart beat. like wtf happened to us being his "priority"??? i don't want to push this on him so much that i end up pushing him away. idk what to do. im losing him. and i can't and dont want that :[


... please don't go

i am running out of things to say to you

"Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it; the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."