how it should be

all i can say that, chilling in eriks van in his garage with kikay ging axell nikki erik dee and kenny was like the chillest day ever this week. no tension. it felt so good. and it was fun. i really miss erik. i understand why now axell would prefer me liking him than kevin. erik is a sweet guy that knows how to treat a girl. haha but we are all a family.

haha i love eriks van. its so spacious. i can totally imagine erik driving in it when he gets his license. the middle seats and we can put like blankets and pillows and we can like travel to the beach or the hill or MAKEOUT POINT haha. get hot and steamy. haha what a dream to kick back in our cars. Jan.21 baby. thats when i can get my lisence. =] cant wait

i think seperating form anyone for me would be the hardest i can do right now. it would hurt. and i wouldnt know what to do. one person gone is like heart breaking. seperating form half of the group is unbearable. its a scary thought. i guess well just have to wait to see what will happen when school starts. -___-

im learning to accept the idea that people will always be coming and going in my life. and i have to deal with it. loss hurts. and i love my firends. just not the drama they bring. stay gold baby, stay gold.

im too lazy to go into detail, but this week has been great. nothing crazy and adventurous, but chill and loving. we dealt what needed to be dealt with calmly and eventually. on our own. not blowing it up. and we sat back in the pines at ging's and just chilled and had fun. i loved it. we played guitar hero and mario kart and kikay owned us all -__- haha she boss at those games. but also most of this week, if not at ging's house im at franks. its not where i am, its who im with. i can honestly just sit on their couch and watch movies all day with them. it wouldnt be boring b/c im with them. my friends, just being with them, makes my heart glow. i love them.



what do i have to say about frank....
hes a really cool guy, and i know i want to keep him as a friend, hes very caring and easily to connect with. but i dont like him as a person for ging. he treats her like crap sometimes, and he hurts her feelings. but shes giving him another chance i forgot why. but she has this feeling that either axell will ruin their friendship or frank will ruin their relationship. she hanging on the edge of the cliff expecting someone to push her off and the other to help her up. im not going to judge frank for his past. if we all have done shady things in our past that we're not proud of. if we judged everyone for their past, we'd hate everyone and not get along. whats done is done. you cant change it. the person will deal with it on their own and let it go. its not anyone elses business. and im not going to judge frank for what hes done to alex and marc. with the whiole influence thing. marc and alex chose to do those stupid things. God gave us choice. so its not completely franks fault. he good as a friend, great as a person. but if he hurts ging i will be pissed. 'hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn'