i'll do this my way

i watched fireworks today with kikay, dee, axell, kevin, frank, marc and chester. we were like dedicating each firework to someone different. haha it was fun, and kikay and i kept screaming for all the pretty, exciting ones hahaha i love her. my family loves my friends and im glad that i have such a cool family >_< not like those asian parents that don't want their kids hanging out with the opposite sex "doan do da nah-stay! doan hab sec! yew tew yung!" ^_^
(its amazing how the sight of one person can make you feel like your whole day just went down hill... yes im talking bout you and crap dammit im rooming with you. lets try to coexist, ok? im trying to be the better person but you wont let me! im trying to show you how to grow the fck up. so sit down and pay attention, you might actually learn something)
i had fun but i was actually wished that... uh... hehehe, i actually hoped that chief would sit with me and watch the sky rain colors this fourth of July. :[ but he sat with his family. i understand. ill will be pissed is he cant go.
im deciding that im giving frank a chance. so he better not mess up. >:[
like you know that guy from before? uh, HIM (idk what i called him) the one that's giving me TLC. i just... idk but im losing feelings for him... FAST. i used to me so excited that he'd call me like every night and like hed wait for me to go on AIM so we can talk. but we NEVER have interesting convos -_- they are really... DULL. and its such a disappointment. i really wanted this to work. but his convos with me aren't interesting and deep like the ones i have with bunz and they aren't funny and lighthearted like the ones i have with chief. and he DOESN'T get me. he doesn't understand me. and hes mature in some fields, but like not in the ones that shine through all situations. like he could be selfish at times and not notice it. this sucks. i really miss chief...
i saw chief today and we layed in the grass next to Jonathan pham's boom box (i got a musical education/ update today >_<) haha. but what makes me sad is that when it comes to chilling with me and the guys he doesn't put effort into hanging out with us. but if its with his other friends or erin than he'll be there for them in a heart beat. like wtf happened to us being his "priority"??? i don't want to push this on him so much that i end up pushing him away. idk what to do. im losing him. and i can't and dont want that :[


... please don't go